


If I Could Turn Back Time, and Make it All Alright

by I_Swear_Its_Just_Me



Series: I Just Want a Life That Seems a Little Bit Better Than a Dream [2]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Author is Now in Tears, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-20 19:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18131114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Swear_Its_Just_Me/pseuds/I_Swear_Its_Just_Me
Summary: This is the alternate ending to I Just Want a Life That Seems a Little Bit Better Than a Dream, and it's pure angst. Set in 2020. If you cry, don't feel bad. While writing this, my eyes were basically saying 'Niagara Falls Wants What I Have'.I'm sorry. But also not. This was the original ending I wanted the story to have, but I made the actual ending to the story fluffy, so...





	If I Could Turn Back Time, and Make it All Alright

"Hey, Cyrus. It's... It's been a while. Amber's doing fine. Y'know... As fine as she can be at least. It's.. Difficult. Not just for her, but for me, too. And Andi and Buffy and Jonah." TJ sighed and looked up, fighting back tears.

"I miss you. So much. I miss just hanging out and laughing and... And I have so many regrets. I regret not telling you how I feel. I regret not noticing you were struggling before... And I... I regret not being there for you that day. My therapist says I've got something like survivor's guilt. Yeah. I've got one of those now. A therapist, now." A few tears slipped past his eyes, and he smiled sadly.

"It's been a crazy ride. Really. I just... I can't believe it's almost been a year already. Everything seems off. Without you... Nothing is exciting anymore. I can't go dirt biking without thinking about that time I brought you to the track. And I thought that when I hadn't left with you that I'd screwed everything up. I couldn't lose you. And I... It's so much worse. At least then I'd been able to see you in the halls. Now I have to pass your locker, and I see all these cards from people who didn't even know you, and I... I think you would've loved it."

TJ laughed softly, before his sad smile disappeared completely. "Your parents still haven't packed up your room. They don't want to admit you're gone. I don't either, but I don't have much choice, now do I?

"They let me keep one of your oversized hoodies. Sometimes they'll let me come over and just sit in your room. They understand. I don't know how, but they do. The hoodie doesn't really smell like you anymore. Your presence isn't as strong in your room anymore. And I... Every time I realize this, I want to punch or kick the nearest wall or tree.

"I miss you. So much. I want you back. But I can't.. I can't have you..." TJ let out a loud sob, tears flowing more freely now.

"I'll take good care of Amber. Promise. I'll never forget you either. I don't think I could, even if I tried to. I love you, Cyrus. I just wish I'd told you that sooner."

TJ stood up and dusted off his pants, setting the bouquet of red and crimson roses, red and pink carnations, and purple hyacinths next to the gravestone. 

"Cyrus Goodman," It read. "Lover. Fighter. Helper. 2003-2019."

It made him want to cry again. It didn't do Cyrus much justice. No words ever could. He was so beautiful, and now he was gone.

He smiled at the grave sadly, before making his way out of the graveyard and to his car. It was all packed up for college, and Amber was sat in the passenger side seat. There weren't going to be back for a while, but as he'd said, he wouldn't forget Cyrus. Neither would Amber.

He drove away, and his heart ached. He missed Cyrus. Maybe if he was still here, then maybe... No. He couldn't think of that, or he'd breakdown again. 

Amber seemed to sense his inner turmoil, and placed a hand on his arm, squeezing a little. "I miss him too." She said, and TJ couldn't be more grateful for her at the moment. He smiled sadly at her, and she gave him an identical smile.

If only Cyrus had held on, maybe things would've gotten better. But now... No one would ever know if maybe it would.


End file.
